Stuck

This world is huge. There is so much to learn in life, so much to explore, so many experiences waiting to be had. Sometimes I get so overwhelmed thinking about how short life is and how much I want to learn and see. There are so many places I want to go and so many people I want to meet. When I think back to my trips to Chile and Mexico and how much I learned when I was in those countries, my heart starts beating faster at the possibility to experience those feelings again.

I am beginning to start a new chapter in my life. I feel like I am reading my story with suspense of what will happen next. Unfortunately like a book, I cannot just skip the next 20 pages to find out what will transpire. I am excited, yet nervous at the plethora of options laid ahead of me. Sometimes I am even confused on what direction I should be going. I think I know what I desire as the end-result, yet I often times do not know how to get there.

For the past several months or so, my weeks seem to fly by. Next thing I know, I have lived in NKY for almost a year now. Where did all the time go? And what have I done with my time here? In general, I feel fairly content with the past year. I have gained experience working at a museum, learning new things with new people, and growing as a person through it all. But as time has passed, I have come to the realization that maybe I should have done things a little differently.

In the past two years after college, I wish I would have spent more time painting. I wish I would have gotten more involved in the arts, found a way to respond to my calling to the Hispanic people in my community and abroad, spent more time reading and learning about art, and of course, spent more time with my God. We all think back and sometimes wish we would have done things a little differently. Don't get me wrong, I love my life and enjoy the majority of each week!

The thing is, sometimes I just feel stuck. There are so many things I want to do and accomplish.  I guess I am just too impatient at times. The world is out there and I want to see it! I wish I could speed-read in order to learn all that I want, have ample spending money to travel the world and change lives while they change mine, jump ahead to the career that I dream about. Even though I wish all of these things, in the back of my mind I know that is not how things happen and God does have some kind of plan for me.

Right now I just need to figure out the next step and how to get there. After two years of being out of college, I feel a little ill-prepared to apply to graduate school. What if I don't get in any where? What if I get stuck working a by-the-hour job? I know I will get nowhere if I focus on those thoughts, so I must go full-steam ahead!